Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day is tomorrow. I will probably find a local ceremony to take my children to. My dad fought in the second world war and although he died without meeting most of my kids they know about him and some are proud of his service to his country during a war the outcome of which surely impacted on all of us. Prior to the war he was a police officer in London, England and was commended (by the King!) for entering a burning building to rescue people. He subsequently joined the navy (where his brother and best friend were killed) and was a beach master on D-Day. He never talked about his wartime experiences. And of course, now that he is gone I wish I could ask. Veterans of those early wars I am guessing did not have much counselling or support to overcome their experiences. And I don't think they knew the healing power of talking to others, and even more significant they sometimes didn't have anyone around who understood what they had been through. My father came to Canada after the war so this probably severed even more ties with those who had experienced what he had.
At the workshop I was at on Friday, Maris (the presenter) used the example of our fathers and grandfathers who served in the war and never spoke of their experiences. She said they didn't talk about it with us because we simply didn't have their shared experience and wouldn't understand. She compared it to adoptive parents who have difficult experiences with their kids and feel they can't talk about it with parents who haven't had a similar experience.
I bumped into a parent I hadn't seen for a while this week-end. She has birth and adopted children and we share stories about our kids each time we meet. The good stuff and the challenges. One of her kids is more difficult to parent than the others and we can talk about just about anything. This is not just an adoption issue, or just a parenting issue. Support groups are one of the ways people meet the need for someone to listen who understands. Peer support can be another way. Reaching out to one another is important. We now know better than ever (and certainly more than our fathers and grandfathers knew) about how important it is to have support - community and individual as we journey through wherever life takes us.
So, take a moment tomorrow to think of the many who have fought for us, and continue to do so, and all those whose stories go untold.